Mistaken Identity
by Katty008
Summary: FMA Bleach Crossover. In the offchance that they would somehow end up in the same part of Soul Society on the same day... wait, you're not Edward Elric. Amestris descends en masse on Sereitei...
1. Mistaken Identity

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Warning: Crackiness and some OOC on Riza Hawkeye's part.**

**Wish: Reviews Please!**

* * *

Riza Hawkeye, recently of the Shinigami Academy, was quite happy thank you very much to be back in a military enviornment for the first time since her untimely death at the hands of a delusional Roy Mustang.

Walking towards her new division, she heard a voice that sounded vaguely familiar arguing.

"But taichou…"

"No buts Matsumoto! Get in there and finish your paperwork!"

Riza ran around the corner, grabbing the short one. "EDWARD! I was wondering where you went when you disappeared after the invasion! Do you know where Alphonse is? You're just as short as ever! You-" She suddenly realized that the boy she was hugging was not only gasping for breath, but did not have blond hair or matching golden eyes.

She also noticed that he was wearing a captain's haori and glaring at her as if she would not live another day. "Mistaken identity?"

Riza backed off. "Yes, sorry sir, I'll just be on my way then."

"That was interesting," Matsumoto commented. Then she suddenly got the strangest smirk on her face.

"Don't even think about it," Hitsugaya growled. _She had called him small!_

"EDWARD!"

Hitsugaya and Matsumoto ran around the corner. "This one must be a headcase. It's amazing she got through the Academy if she keeps jumping on people and calling them Edward."

The sight around the corner was much the same as before, except instead of Hitsugaya Riza was hugging a boy with blond hair and matching gold eyes. "Lieutenant! When did you get here?"

"Edward! Can you believe it, I was just thinking about you and up you pop!" She suddenly noticed Hitsugaya and Matsumoto. "Would you believe it, I thought he was you! I mean, you sound a lot alike and such, and you're both so short and cute!"

"WHO DID YOU CALL SO TINY YOU NEED A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO SEE?"

Twitch… twitch… 


	2. Revenge

**Title: Revenge of the Evil Elric**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: Due to popular demand, this story will continue. And it will go from a mistaken identity to all around havoc. I already have the next few chapters planned out.**

**Wish: Ideas are welcome. Please review. They are welcome too.**

Edward Elric was bored. Very, very bored. Well, he did have something to do. But it wasn't really a good thing to do in the strictest sense.

He was looking for a Roy Mustang doppelganger.

Or, better yet, he was _making_ one.

Ed stepped back, admiring his masterpiece gigai. It looked so much like Mustang Ed wanted to punch it. But he couldn't. He needed it spotless for its duty.

Suddenly, someone knocked. "Edward? You in there?"

Ed quickly threw a tarp over the gigai lying in the corner. "Come in."

Hawkeye came in. "You know, you're going to miss lunch."

Ed sighed. "I'll be fine Hawkeye."

"I've hardly seen you. If I didn't know better I'd say you were avoiding me."

Spot on.

"But today you should eat lunch with me and we can trade news."

Ed sighed again. "Fine."

He followed Hawkeye to the mess hall of 8th Division. There, they each got trays and sat down. "So, what happened to you after the invasion?"

"Nazis took over, they didn't like me, sent me to Japan as a manual laborer, then I got nuked by the Americans."

Hawkeye just looked blankly at him.

"Don't worry, you'll pick it all up quickly. What about you?"

Suddenly they were interrupted by Ise Nanao. "Hey Hawkeye. Mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all Ise."

Ed gaped. It was a black haired Hawkeye with glasses.

Ise Nanao whapped him with her fan. "Stop gaping and eat."

Suddenly Ed was reminded of Hawkeye whapping Mustang with her gun.

* * *

It was dark. Definitely dark as Riza Hawkeye walked home. Then, out of the shadows came a familiar voice.

"Oh Riza…"

"Roy?" she asked tentatively.

"The one and only. Now get over here."

Riza followed the voice ever closer. Then a cloud shifted and Roy Mustang's face came into sharp relief. "Roy," she breathed.

"I'm here too now." And without warning he started kissing her.

She accepted his embrace, but only to the point where he started undoing her clothes. Then she punched him really hard.

The soul candy came out. She immediately knew what had happened.

"ELRIC!"


	3. End Of Grudge

**Title: To Be Promoted Or Not To Be Promoted. That Is My Question.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own**

**Wish: REVIEWS! I want lots of REVIEWS!**

* * *

Riza Hawkeye stomped down the road. Suddenly she spotted a familiar figure far off in the distance. "ELRIC!" 

Hitsugaya Toushirou looked over his shoulder. Riza Hawkeye immediately turned around and started whistling. That woman was a crack case. This was the third time this week.

* * *

Matsumoto Rangiku ducked into a nook as she noticed a familiar figure coming her way.

Edward Elric passed her, only looking at her confusedly.

Matsumoto rolled her eyes at herself. She needed to stop doing this. This was the fifth time this week.

* * *

Riza Hawkeye suddenly bumped into a short person carrying a large stack of paperwork. "Oh sorry, Hitsugaya-taichou."

A short angry blond glared up at her. "Who did you call me?"

Riza was suddenly as angry as Edward. "What the _hell_ were thinking, making that gigai! I am _so_ going to kill you!"

"You called me short and mistook someone who's 4 foot 2 for me!"

"I wasn't thinking! I had every right to do that!"

"NO YOU DIDN'T!"

"YES I DID! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW DESPERATE I WAS FOR A FAMILIAR FACE AFTER MY BOYFRIEND KILLED ME!"

Ed suddenly looked very curious, in a not good kind of way. "Your boyfriend? Who was it?"

"I'm not telling you any more."

"Then shall we put this incident behind us."

"Sounds good to me."

Ed suddenly looked at the ground. "Well, that's a good thing. You see, I couldn't really think of anyone else to ask, but you were kind of mad at me."

Riza folded her arms. "Where are you going with this?"

"EversinceYamamotofoundoutaboutmybankaihe'sbeenaftermetobeacaptainandIwaswonderingifyou'dbemyvicecaptain."

"English, please."

Ed took a deep breath. "Yamamoto found out about my bankai and he's been after me to be a captain ever since the Betrayel. Would you be my vice-captain? I mean, you're qualified and everything, and I know you'd be great at it from past experience…" his voice trailed off.

Riza smiled. "You don't have to ask twice."

Ed smirked. "I think I already did."


	4. He Is Back

**Title: A Reversal Of Roles**

**Disclaimer: Don't own**

**Wish: REVIEWS!**

Edward Elric sighed as he looked at the clock. His third seat should be back soon from briefing the new recruits. And then he could go home.

"Don't even think about it, taichou."

Ed glared at Riza Hawkeye. "How do you even know what I'm talking about? Prove it."

"You want to go home after Minuko gets back. Fat chance. You are going to stay here and finish that stack. Unless of course you miraculously manage to finish it before he reports in."

Ed sighed again and reached for a paper on the top.

Fifteen minutes later, the list was in. Ed looked over it. He had seen some of them sparring at the Academy. They would make great assets to Fifth Division.

At the bottom of the list Minuko had scribbled, _1 recruit missing. Of no great consequence._

Another hour had passed, and Ed was almost done. At another desk, Hawkeye was working diligently. Ed sat back. "You know, I think I've done enough for today. I've worked my ass off. Bye then."

Suddenly one of Hawkeye's short throwing zanpuktos was embedded directly above his head. "Finish the paperwork taichou."

Ed folded his arms. "I am your commanding officer you know. You technically can't command me to do anything."

"And yet I do all the time. I wonder why that is?"

"Anyway, I'm leaving."

"No slacking in Fifth Division!"

"I'm LEAVING!"

"That's FIVE MORE SIGNATURES! You'll LIVE!"

"IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, NOT ONLY AM I TALLER THEN HITSUGAYA-TAICHOU, I ALSO DON'T HAVE HIS THIRST FOR PAPERWORK!"

Suddenly there was a noise outside the door that sounded vaguely familiar. "Shinigami recruit reporting for duty! I have no explanation for being tardy!"

Ed sighed. "Come in."

The door flew open to reveal a kneeling black haired man in shinigami garb. He looked up. Edward Elric was sitting in the large chair, Riza Hawkeye standing on the other side with some paperwork in her hand.

Roy Mustang's jaw dropped. A smirk grew on Edward Elric's face as he realized _exactly_ what he could do with this.


	5. Sorry, But Not

**Title: Hell Hath No Fury Like That Of A Woman Scorned.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: I know it's been awhile, but I've been working on my other FMA story Equivalent Exchange. The next one will also likely be a while, as school has started and I will still be working on Equivalent Exchange.**

**Oh, and I need some advice on alchemy and automail and all that jazz. So, since this is pretty much the afterlife, would Ed have his real limbs back? Or would they still be mechanical because they had been sacrificed to the Gate and it's not really the afterlife, more of a second life? Or would he have Sereitei's version of automail, or would Unohana have done something about it? As for alchemy, would it still work? Or would it not and they would just use kido instead? Or would it work, but it would be a secret? I would love any and all opinions on these two issues and any others you could think of.**

**Wish: Reviews and opinions please!**

* * *

Riza Hawkeye silently bit into a roll.

"May I sit here?"

Riza looked up. The look on the man's face was sorry, if anything. She shrugged.

Roy Mustang sat down. "I am sorry. I didn't know what I was doing at the time, I… I guess now I'm just making excuses."

"Yes Roy Mustang that is exactly what you're doing."

"Do you forgive me?"

"Maybe."

"What would it take?"

"No guarantees, but I want to know how you died."

Roy Mustang sighed and leaned back slightly, but not much because the long benches didn't have backs. "That is a long story. After you died, I took personal control of your murder case."

Riza snorted. "Looking for themselves. It's amazing how many people do that figuratively, but _literally_."

"May I get on with the story?"

Riza made a motion and Roy took it as 'move on'.

"Anyway, I had been investigating for a month when I had a place of murder and time down. Another week and I was stuck. Then I tracked down a man many had mentioned. He pointed out the truth, and I jumped off the nearest building. Happy?"

Hawkeye slapped him.

"What was that for!"

"That was for killing me." She slapped him. "That was for killing yourself. And this is for being honest." She suddenly pulled him into a very close kiss.

"I KNEW IT!"

Ed's head removed itself from the doorframe seconds from impalement. A very irate Hawkeye was after him, fury in every line on her face. Roy could only stare dumbly.

That was until a very pretty face poked him. Unfortunately, the look on said face was not pretty at all. "Hey. You. Yeah you. Roy. What was that about? Because last time I checked, _I_ was your girlfriend."

"That was a one-time thing!"

"What about me?"

"I dumped you!"

"What about me!"

"I never went out with you!"

"You kissed me!"

"What about me!"

"You're from Amestris! Of course I wouldn't be dating you any more!"

And that was how Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, was run out of the division's mess hall. Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned.


	6. First Weeks

**Title: He Was Alive, But Now He's Dead, But Now So Are We…**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: Yay! An update! I should probably work on a certain story that hasn't been updated in a while though… don't eat me, please. It will all get done. It will, I swear. School's been hectic.**

**Wish: Reviews!**

Ed was taking a nice stroll around the compound of Fifth Division to get away from Hawkeye, and eventually, Mustang. Because undoubtedly he would show up at the office at some point or another today and he would want to be alone with Hawkeye and, well… yeah.

Ed had already walked in on the two once. Fortunately they were just making out, but he still didn't want to repeat it. And yes, they probably had some catching up to do, but there were probably better places to do it then his office.

It was a sign of how much in love Hawkeye was with the man for the fact that she was willing to throw the rules out the window nearly daily.

Ed stopped, leaning against a wall and watching the new division members practicing kidou. Then, one switched places with another and Ed couldn't help but notice that all the others flinched slightly or just ran for cover outright.

Sometimes he hated being right. Actually, loads of times he hated being right.

"What the FUCK you BROKE it! It's SUPPOSED to be NEAR INDISTRUCTABLE!" One of the victims of the kidou gone wrong yelled.

The 'attacker' for want of a better word trembled, proving that either A) Ed was scary or B) He was a coward. "I'm so sorry taichou so sorry!"

Ed shrugged it off. Then he got an evil look in his face. "Then you can be the one to take it to the Bureau of Technological Development. I hate those freaks."

The shinigami got a confused look in his face. "Okay taichou, but what are we talking about?"

"Why this of course!" And without any further ado Ed pulled off his automail arm. The shinigami fell over in a dead faint. Ed bent over him and poked him with the arm. "Hey, you in there? I need to you to run an errand for me."

A throwing zanpukto flew by him, taking off a few hairs. "Stop scaring the hell out of the new recruits taichou."

Ed spun around. "Stop scaring the hell out of me Hawkeye!" Then he smirked, noticing Mustang. "Mustang, since one of your comrades can't do the errand, you'll have to."

Mustang looked up from Hawkeye rear end. "Huh?"

Ed threw the arm at him. "Be afraid. Be very afraid."

Mustang raised an eyebrow. "What, did Winry kick the bucket while I wasn't looking as well?"

Ed shrugged. "Not that I know of, but I do know that Twelfth is to be feared. Now hop to it. I'll be in my office."

Confused, Mustang left in the direction that Hawkeye had pointed. After about ten minutes he had gotten to the Bureau of Technological Development. Cautiously, he entered.

The place was very dark, and there were shapeless masses wandering around working. Definitely the weirder of the shinigami resided here. One of them looked up. He had short uncombed brown hair and strange metal spikes sticking out of his forehead. "Who are you? Oh, did Elric-taichou break his arm again? Give it to me, I'll take it to Kurotsuchi-taichou. Please come with me."

Mustang followed the man down a hallway, to a nondescript door with a small plaque on it. He knocked. An irate voice came from the other side. "I told you not to bother me! Go away!"

"Taichou, Elric-taichou broke his arm again."

The door was flown open by a man that Mustang could only describe as 'seriously creepy'. "Again? I keep telling him that I'll only be able to fix it so many times before he has to let me examine it inch by inch. And if the port gets ripped off entirely, then I don't know what I'll do. It would be best if he just came in and let me examine it."

The mad scientist continued to mumble as he turned his back on them and started working on the arm. It was the longest fifteen minutes of Mustang's life before the arm was handed back to him. "And make sure to tell Elric-taichou to come in some time."

"O…okay! Yeah, I'll make sure to tell him!" And Mustang fled with his tail between his legs.

On the way back to Fifth, Mustang rounded a corner and bumped into a short boy in a captain's haori carrying a stack of paperwork. "Oh sorry. I didn't see you there." Then he got a good look at the boy. "Are you related to Edward Elric?"

Hitsugaya cracked. Loudly. "I'VE HAD IT! There is an official feud between Tenth and Fifth Divisions! What's your division anyway!"

"Umm… Fifth?"

Hitsugaya pointed at Mustang, dropping all his paperwork in the process. "DON'T LET ME SEE YOU AGAIN!"

For the second time in ten minutes, Mustang fled with his tale between his legs. He ran all the way to Fifth Division. He entered the office, panting slightly. He threw the arm on the desk. "I hope you're happy."

Ed looked up from the paperwork he was doing, smirking. Sighing, he leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head. "You sound pissed."

"Um, yes actually, I am. That Kurotsuchi guy told me to remind you that he would like to poke and prod you, and I accidentally bumped into some short white-haired kid who got all pissed at me."

Ed was suddenly alert. "What did you say to him Mustang?"

"You sound like you're reprimanding me."

"I am. What did you say?"

"I asked him if you two were related."

Ed groaned, smacking his forehead. "Could you have said anything worse? What did he say back?"

"That there's an official feud and that he never wants to see me again. Why, have you made some enemies or something?"

"No, Hawkeye made them for me. At least this is better then when Scar was alive, because Hitsugaya can't actually kill me without getting in trouble."

Suddenly something clicked in the minds of the ex-alchemists at the exact same moment.

"SHIT!"


	7. To Karakura We Go

**Title: An Abundance of Genius Midgets**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: Here we finally find out Hawkeye and Ed's zanpuktos! Yay! The quotes at the beginning and the end are from the theme for You Only Live Twice and a line from the book You Only Live Twice respectively. I heard the song and thought it would match Ed perfectly, particularly with this story. Ed plus 007 equals awesomeness.**

**Wish: Reviews please!**

* * *

_This dream is for you,_

_So pay the price._

_Make one dream come true,_

_You only live twice._

* * *

Edward sighed. It had been unnaturally quiet in Sereitei as of late, and not just concerning Arrancar. The Cracking of Hitsugaya as he had come to label it had not had much effect on the day-to-day life as he and several other top-level shinigami had been dispatched to the real world directly after the incident. He leaned back in his chair, sighing again.

Hawkeye seemed to sense as well as share his relative boredom. "I'm in the mood for a little sparring. Feel up to it?"

Ed grinned like a maniac. "Never better."

The two of them went to Fifth Division's training grounds. They spent half an hour just working on their form, then Ed insisted on pulling out their shikai. Probably because he couldn't really work on form against Hawkeye's short throwing zanpuktos, just shunpo.

"Separate and join together, Fumito." Ed's zanpukto melded itself around his metal arm, neatly fusing with it and becoming somewhat shorter in the process. "I promise I won't kill you."

"Fly to kill, Erina. I would hope that you would have that much control by now." Hawkeye's throwing zanpuktos formed together into a wave of icy shards.

Ed neatly dodged the sharp icy shards with inhuman speed, coming closer to Hawkeye. "You doubt me?"

They sparred for another half-hour, then Hawkeye took a break to commune with her zankpukto as Ed procured a dummy from a storage closet and released his bankai. Eventually a hell-butterfly flew by, and Hawkeye lifted her hand to receive the message. Her eyes grew bigger at the contents as she stood up and put her zanpukto back in her sheath.

She turned towards Ed to see him turn the sand inside the dummy into glass by stabbing it, then break the glass with the flat of his blade, causing glass splinters to stick out of the rough burlap. "Taichou!"

Ed looked up, turning the glass back into sand with another stab as he did. "What?"

"Direct orders from Yamamoto-soutaichou. Hitsugaya-taichou's team just fought some Arrancar and had trouble. We're to go down and back them up in the case of another attack."

Ed sighed, sheathing his zanpukto. "Well, let's get moving then."

* * *

"Hey, Hitsugaya, hear you got a bit beat up last night."

Hitsugaya looked up from his phone. Sighing, he looked back down at it. "You're my reinforcements, Elric?"

Ed shrugged one-handedly. "You say that like you hate me. Don't worry, it's not just you, Mustang can be a bit hard at times."

"So is that that man's name?"

"Yeah, Roy Mustang." Ed tugged at the Karakura High uniform. "I hate uniforms."

"What is this, the midget convention?"

Two short people glared at the suddenly appearing Ichigo.

"Ahem."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MINIATURE PINT-SIZED BEAN!?!?!"

Ichigo wasn't fazed. He pointed at them. "Hey, Toushirou, who are these people?"

"That's Hitsugaya-taichou! This is the captain and vice-captain of fifth divison."

Ichigo looked at Hawkeye. "Oh, so you must be the new captain?"

Ed was fuming. "This is worse then travelling with Al."

Ichigo looked form one to the other. "You mean a squirt like you is the new captain? Seems like Sereitei has an abundance of genius kids."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I'M SO SMALL YOU'D LOVE TO SQUISH ME LIKE A BUG!?!?!"

Hawekeye and Hitsugaya rolled their eyes. "He didn't go that far."

* * *

_You only live twice._

_Once when you're born,_

_And once when you look death in the face._


	8. Intermission: Where Did 'Ai' Come From?

**Random inspiration hits… this isn't much of a chapter, more drabblesque, but this suddenly popped into my head and I had to jot it down. And I felt I should share with you the utter randomicity that is the word Royai. I still want reviews though. I should probably stop asking because this is one of my more popular stories.**

**Insane crack abounds.**

* * *

There wasn't much light in the shed.

"Roy?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"The other shinigami. They've started referring to us as 'Royai'."

"Royeye? As in Roy then the eye of Hawkeye?"

"No… 'ai' as in A I." Silence. "Roy?"

"Artificial Intelligence?"

"Who knows."

Suddenly and without warning Roy lunged towards a nearby bucket.

"Roy?"

"Ai… as in Aizen."

Riza quickly joined him.


	9. Vengeful Immortal Automail Godesses

**Title: An Unending Abyss of Gears.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: Out of all of my stories, this story is ranking roughly 2nd or 3rd place in popularity. Yay! And if I keep this up, it will soon be a definite second!**

**Ever since that subbed version of the second trailer for DiamondDust Rebellion has been put on Youtube, I've watched it at least two dozen times. And I've already fallen in love with the theme song. And started talking along with Yamamoto when he goes, "Hitsugaya Toushirou must be executed," or whatever he says there. And Hitsu has the coolest line. "This is my problem, I will solve it alone, so don't bother me. Die." Well, it looks like we'll get to find out who would get their asses kicked if Hitsugaya and Ichigo went up against each other.**

**I went on the website even though I don't know a shred of Japanese. Lil' Shiro is so cute! I now have a cropped screenshot of Hitsu in the rogue shinigami cape with Hyorinmaru and his ripped sash in his hand as my background. Both of my computers have now become Hitsugaya shrines. And my new image is made of screenshots from the website. Yes, I know it looks like crap, but I'd like to see you do better in Microsoft Paint, then convert it to a JPEG using Windows Imaging.**

**Please wait while I babble about what I think will happen because no one in my family cares. This A/N is going to end up being an entire page.**

**So it looks like the old friend that is long dead is also the bad guy. How, you ask? Well, the bad guy does have some sort of Hollow mask, so everybody could think he's dead, but he actually turned into an evil Vizard and went and hid in the mountains to plot his revenge. He seems to have some sort of fire zanpukto, which makes me think that the 'other Hyorinmaru' is actually a fire version of Hyorinmaru, wielded by bad guy/old friend/dead dude. And there's one part where it shows him and this other shinigami meeting and there's his zanpukto sheath sticking (quite ridiculously) out of his rogue shinigami cloak. So there goes the 'the sash is there so his sword doesn't drag on the ground' theory. And that shinigami looks like the fukutaichou of Fourth Division. And then there's this one blue-haired girl fighting Matsumoto and appears to have a zanpukto like Gin's. Oh, and there's this one cool screenshot where Hitsu's looking all emo with a fiery background and it rocks. And the other Hyorinmaru being the bad guy's fire-ness would make sense because he was both a friend and a rival to Hitsugaya. Oh, and the bad guy has a nice shiny scar on the right side of his face.**

**I really hope they stick clips from the movie in the anime opening like they did for Memories of Nobody. I'm banking on that to keep me sane. Now all we have to do is wait a year for it to come out on this side of the Pacific and see if I'm right. Or we could just wait until Christmas and check Wikipedia. Then we can have a virtual party because I bet I am.**

**This A/N is 547 words long.**

**Wish: DIAMONDDUST REBELLION!!!!**

* * *

Where the hell was Hitsugaya?

However it would be wrong to say that that was the foremost thing on Edward Elric's mind. The foremost thing on Edward Elric's mind was that bastard Arrancar in front of him. The thing wasn't even giving him time to release his zanpukto. Even to a prodigy like himself this was a particularly deadly combination.

Ed dodged left, then right as Shawlong Qufang attacked. There was a sharp pain in his side as he barely got away in time. He barely got away from several quick jabs and watched the arrancar, catching his breath. Realizing that he only had so long before the arrancar released his sword, he decided to go with all he had in one fell swoop. "Separate and join together, Fumito!"

The blade shortened and melded with his metal arm. Charging, Ed let out a battle cry. For a second there it looked as if Shawlong wasn't going to defend himself. But at the last second Shawlong raised his zanpukto to block it. Ed wasn't expecting this, and nearly jumped back from the sudden movement. It would have been better if he had though.

So focused was he on Shawlong he hadn't noticed a second arrancar sneak up from the side. Suddenly his world turned red as there was a terrific pain in his right shoulder. The second arrancar hissed in his ear. "Without that arm, you're as good as dead, aren't you?" There was the sound of ripping flesh and Ed watched in horror as his automail arm, socket and all, as well as some flesh, was thrown to the street below. And with it his zanpukto.

He gagged as Shawlong's zanpukto rushed through his stomach. Then it was removed, and he fell backwards into unconsciousness. The last thing he remembered was Shawlong turning to the second arrancar and mentioning something about finding the others.

* * *

Ed hurt all over. It felt as though a chimera made of an elephant, a rhinoceros, and a third even larger creature (brontosaurus?) had run over him, then backed up and done it again. Without even opening his eyes, he had a sincere feeling of déjà vu. When he slowly opened them though, he didn't immediately see why.

The room he was in seemed a cross between Rukongai and Earth. His vision was foggy, but he could make out a young girl with black pigtails leaning over him. "Hang in there. Help is coming."

The words reached his ears in a seemingly disjointed fashion. He had just enough time to register his lack of right arm before he was unconscious again.

* * *

Hitsugaya groaned, then opened his eyes to a haze of gold. Ah. Inoue Orihime was healing him. That was what was with the strange feeling.

Slowly the gold faded, and Hitsugaya waited as Inoue swathed his torso in bandages. Then he slowly sat up and moved out of the way while Matsumoto arrived and set down Kuchiki Rukia. The golden glow covered her and he stood, thinking something was off.

That was when he realized it. "Has anyone seen Elric?"

Everybody shook their heads, then looked around. Hawkeye wasn't there either.

"Shit." Hitsugaya quickly belted his uniform shut and slipped his arms through his captain's haori. Searching for reiatsu, he found Ed's, flickering, at Urahara's. He found Hawkeye's rushing the streets, fluctuating in panic. "He's at Urahara's. Matsumoto, go find Hawkeye and bring her there. I'll meet you there. The rest of you stay here."

He charged off, not even looking to see if Matsumoto was following his orders, because he knew she would.

It took scant minutes to reach Urahara's. He slid open the front door to see Urahara walking out of a back room. Urahara looked up. "Here for Midget Captain Number 2?"

"You could say that, but don't let him hear it."

"Or what's left of him…" Urahara trailed off. Then he held up the elbow down of Ed's automail. The rip was not clean at all, and even as Urahara held it up gears fell out. "He took quite a beating. The design on this really is quite impressive, I'll have to commend Kurotsuchi on it next time I see him."

Hitsugaya shifted uncomfortably. "Kurotsuchi didn't make that. Elric-taichou had that arm when he entered the Academy. We always assumed there was an extremely skilled mechanic somewhere in Rukongai, that was until he started asking Kurotsuchi to fix it when it broke."

Urahara waved the hand, more gears spilling out carelessly. "Well, that could be a problem. Because the arm didn't just break in half. It was ripped off- literally- socket and all. Nearly took his shoulder bone with it if the thing hadn't broken in three places. At least his leg didn't break."

Hitsugaya was momentarily stunned. "His leg?"

"Yes," came a voice from behind them. Hawkeye and Matsumoto strode into the room. Hawkeye continued to speak. "That boy hasn't had an easy first life."

Hitsugaya turned around. "What happened to him?"

Hawkeye looked sad. "Lots of things…"

"Which brings us to the present situation!" Urahara nearly shouted, waving the arm some more. More gears fell out, and one hit him on the head. "How many damn gears are there in this thing anyway?" He looked up it and started shaking it vigorously. He was quickly buried in a small mountain of gears.

"Anyway," Hitsugaya continued, turning to Hawkeye. "We appear to have a problem. Elric-taichou met one of the Arrancar and had his right arm ripped off."

"Can't he just go back to Soul Society and get Kurotsuchi to make him a new one?"

"No; the whole socket was ripped off."

"That's not good."

"No it isn't. Do you know where he got his first set?"

Hawkeye seemed unsure of what to say. "He got them before he went to Soul Society, but it is entirely likely that the person who made them, Winry Rockbell, has since died."

A hoarse voice came from the other room. "If she's died already then I'm a hollow. Hell, if Granny Pinako died before me I'm a hollow. Those women are frigging immortal."

They all rushed into the other room, well minus Urahara who was still buried in gears. Hawkeye knelt next to him. "Edward?"

Ed's eyes were closed and his face was scrunched up in pain. "Even if… even if she were dead, she couldn't help. The nerve endings… they're too short. Only a master would be able to craft a port… I wouldn't doubt her being one, but…" his voice faded away.

Hitsugaya snapped his fingers. "That's it! Matsumoto, go get Inoue!"

Comprehension dawned on Matsumoto. "On it, taichou!" She shunpoed out of the room and into the night.

Urahara wandered into the room, a gear falling out of his sleeve. "What did I miss?"

Hitsugaya gave him a glare for being so carefree and Hawkeye ignored him, eyes only for her wounded captain.


	10. He Just Won't Die

**Title: Yes Ichigo, Inoue and Matsumoto Both Have Big Boobs**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: I was originally intending to introduce a certain someone else in this chapter, but a certain somebody decided to make his presence known. This chapter would also be longer, but... you'll see when you get to the end!**

**Wish: DIAMONDDUST REBELLION! 18 DAYS TO GO!**

**The world should hide from the crazed me who has a countdown on the whiteboard in her room.**

* * *

Urahara, Hawkeye, and Hitsugaya were sitting and talking while waiting for Inoue. Actually it was mostly Urahara asking questions while the others gave reluctant answers. "I don't think I've met him before. Is he one of the replacements?" 

"_The_ replacement. There are no others. He is the new Fifth Division captain." Hitsugaya answered.

"Yes… I don't believe you mentioned his name. He looks kind of familiar…"

"Edward Elric."

A shocked look registered on Urahara's face. "Elric, you say?"

"Yes. Does the name mean anything to you?"

Urahara laughed out loud. "If I were to tell you that I think that Edward is the son of one of my dear friends, I don't think you'd believe me!"

"I'll believe anything," Hitsugaya said stonily.

"I don't doubt Hoenheim becoming a shinigami," Riza added.

"Way to ruin the party," Urahara finished moodily.

* * *

Matsumoto traced Orihime's reiatsu to the Kurosaki household. Most likely walking back with Ichigo and Rukia and fretting over Ichigo like a teenaged mother hen. Landing in the front yard, she peeked in the window and saw Orihime, Rukia, and Ichigo just as she had expected. Since she was still in Shinigami form, slinking through the wall was no big deal. 

Rukia barely managed a whisper. "Matsumoto! What are you doing here?"

"Why are you whispering?"

"Ichigo's dad has a friend over."

Matsumoto raised a questioning brow at Ichigo, who just shrugged.

Matsumoto, being spirit and thus assuming that no one in the household could hear her except for the three in front of her, didn't bother to lower her voice. "There's an emergency at the shop; Elric-taichou's been hurt."

"It's worse then Urahara's skill?"

Matsumoto nodded. "His entire right arm has been ripped off to the point where Kurotsuchi can't fix it."

Ichigo interrupted. "His right arm? What would Kurotsuchi have to do with his right arm?"

"Oh, right, you guys wouldn't have noticed because you've never seen him out of the gigai. Elric-taichou's right arm is mechanical. He's had it since before he went to the Academy, so Kurotsuchi can only do so much to repair it."

"Ah, it's a pity Winry-chan's good work was destroyed. She'd go berserk if she knew."

Shocked and stunned silence. In unison four heads turned towards the closed door.


	11. Isshin, Your Secret's Out

**Title: In Which Two People Are Called Bastard Many Times Over.**

**Disclaimer: If I really owned Bleach, do you really think that I would be griping about Diamonddust Rebellion? I would say something witty about FMA but I can't think of anything.**

**A/N: You know what, I had like two pages of guesses for the movie, but I've given up. 8 days to go and all. And I hate the fucking monkey that is Ichigo's current nemesis. He needs to run away and join the circus. Ishida's enemy looks better though.**

**HYPERVENTILATION!**

**And the broken gigai hand thing? I had a hand that I had made in sculpture and I had slipped a glove on it. I put it on a friend's desk holding a piece of folded paper with his name on the front so he couldn't see that it wasn't just coming out of the table. He stood there gibbering for five minutes until someone else grabbed the paper wondering what it said (the other guy thought it was a confession of love). He read it out loud and I was promptly cursed to the lowest level of hell because my friend knew who had done it the second it was read.**

**You have one chapter to guess what I wrote. And trust me, it was a VERY cruel and unusual punishment and I got an award for creativity.**

**By the way, if you get bored, go to deviantART and search 'pirates of the computer', then scroll down until you see a stick figure with long brown hair. Yeah, that's me. Most of them are bad Pirates of the Caribbean puns, one or two might explain one of the reasons my updates are slow, and there's like three that are actually funny and have nothing whatsoever to do with Pirates of the Caribbean. AND there's a ROUGH UNFINISHED DOODLE OF ELRIC-TAICHOU! Doodle here being used in the loosest terms of the word.**

**Wish: IS THIS A TRICK QUESTION?**

* * *

Ichigo stormed over to the door and threw it open. Two men were at it with empty glasses. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING EAVESDROPPING ON ME AND MY FRIENDS?!"

Isshin immediately stood up and started being… well, Isshin. "WELL, what ELSE is a father to do when his teenage son brings home two such BEAUTIFUL girls such as yourselves… and I see you've added a THIRD to the mix, what a SURPRISE!"

The other one, a man with long blond hair in a ponytail, merely stood up and adjusted his glasses in a way reminiscent of Ishida. "I'm just happy I got some information about my son from it. In trouble as usual, it seems."

However, Ichigo stood there, trying to comprehend what his father just said. "Wait… you can see three girls?"

Isshin suddenly tried to cover up. "No, I must have seen two Inoues!"

Ichigo turned around and looked at Inoue and Matsumoto. They did look a bit alike. They did both have rather a lot of cleavage… but that was beside the point. Back to business. He grabbed his dad by the collar. "You can see Matsumoto?"

"Eep. Yes."

Ichigo threw his father across the room. "EXPLAIN!"

The blond man adjusted his glasses again. "Let's leave those two to bond while we go see to my son. From the sounds of it he is in need of your help Inoue, whatever your skills may be."

And so Matusmoto picked up two stragglers instead of one.

They ran all the way to Urahara Shoten and stormed in. Hawkeye nearly fell over. "Hoenheim? How did… what… huh?"

Hoenheim shrugged. "It's a long story."

Inoue rushed to Ed's side and summoned her Shun Shun Rikka. Hoenheim didn't even flinch. "Ah. So it was you I heard about."

Inoue ignored him, and they all settled down for the long haul.

Fifteen minutes later, Inoue paused and looked up. "Should I heal his leg too?"

Everybody traded glances. "Let's… let's wait until he wakes up." Hawkeye finally said. "Who knows, he might want to keep it for whatever reason."

With that said, the golden glow faded and Inoue stood up, stretching. "All done here. I'll head home now. When he wakes up if he wants me to heal his leg too don't hesitate to call."

Inoue was about to open the door when it was opened from the other side by…

"YOU BASTARD!"

… None other then Ichigo, who had just had a very interesting heart-to-heart with his father.

Urahara looked up, hiding behind his fan. "Who, me?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME MY FATHER WAS A SHINIGAMI, YOU BASTARD! IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME, HUH?"

"Do you have any reason to doubt me Kurosaki?"

"DO I HAVE… OF COURSE I HAVE A DAMN REASON! I HAVE A TON OF DAMN REASONS YOU TWO-FACED LYING BASTARD! LIKE WHEN YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THE HOUGYOKU INSIDE OF RUKIA! OR WHEN YOU RAN AFTER ME WITH YOUR ZANPUKTO CALLING IT TRAINING! OR WHEN YOU HID THAT BROKEN GIGAI HAND IN MY ROOM!"

"Ah, that. That was funny. You were a gibbering wreck for several minutes."

"CAN IT, PINHEAD!"

Ichigo turned on Hoenheim.

"AND YOU! YOU WERE IN ON IT TOO, WEREN'T YOU! I BET YOU WERE BOTH HAVING A LAUGH BEHIND MY BACK, EH, ABOUT POOR CLUELESS ICHIGO! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT I KNOW I HATE YOU, YOU BASTARD!"

"You're not the only one," Hoenheim replied dryly.

A groan came from the futon in the corner. "Now quiet down, Kurosaki. You'll wake Elric-taichou," Urahara pointed out.

"WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU!"

"I'm with Urahara. Shut the fuck up."

Everyone looked towards the futon.

"And why are you here, bastard? You should be dead… of course, you should have died five hundred years ago, but let's forget that for a minute while I get an explanation or two. Such as A), why I have such a damn pounding headache, and B), why my arm is suddenly back."


	12. Revelations

**Title: A Power-Hungry Madman is Having Fun Playing With One of Urahara's Toys.**

**Dislcaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: 24 days since DiamondDust Rebellion came out… by the way, I found this cool video on Youtube. It's some sort of preview for DDR, but get this: It has the first six minutes of the movie, and vaguely explains what happens for the next half-hour to an hour!!! SQUEE!!! It's called "Bleach The Movie 2: The DiamondDust Rebellion 6 Min Pre Sub" and those who don't care about vague spoilers that don't spoil anything important really should go watch it! The translation on the subbing is word-for-word so it's somewhat hard to understand at points, but it's still awesome. What I don't get is this one part at the end, WHERE IT LOOKS LIKE HITSUGAYA GREW HALF A FOOT! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT?**

**And that part at the end of Chapter Six? It will happen. But I need to know: should it be a truce or a "Shinigami must die" sort of thing?**

**Wish: Reviews!**

* * *

Urahara sat down next to the futon. "You have met Inoue Orihime, haven't you?"

"Yeah. Ditzy girl. Can't handle electronics to save her life. That one?"

"Yes. Anyway, her power is to reject things that have happened. In this way she trespasses on God's territory."

Ed sat straight up. "You mean she can bring someone back to life?"

"Technically yes, if they weren't completely blown to oblivion."

Ed lay back down. "What Al and I would have given for a power like that."

Urahara's eyebrow raised almost imperceptibly. "Anyway, after Jinta and Ururu brought you back and Hitsugaya-taichou showed up wondering where you had disappeared to, Hitsugaya-taichou had the idea of getting her over here. So Matsumoto-fukutaichou ran off to find her and found Hoenheim in the process."

"Found." Ichigo grumbled. "More like he was listening in on our entire conversation." He then moved his glare from the floor to Hoenheim. "Speaking of which, I still don't know who the hell you are."

Hoenheim pointed at himself. "Van Hoenheim."

Ichigo pointed from Hoenheim to Ed and back again. "But aren't you his father? You don't share names at all."

Hoenheim sighed. "His mother and I never married. And besides, I'm old enough that I never had a last name to begin with."

"But isn't Hoenheim your last name?"

"No; one would think that Van is my first name but it is just part of Hoenheim I'm afraid."

"So everybody just calls you Hoenheim?"

"Or Hikari no Hoenheim, or Hoenheim-taichou of Sixth Division."

Ichigo pointed at Urahara. "So you're a shinigami like him?"

Urahara smirked. "Ah, good times, good times. When Isshin decided to abandon Sereitei for Masaki, I decided to go along with the fun, and of course Yoruichi wouldn't let me leave without her. When Hoenheim learned that his two best friends were leaving Sereitei, even the noble Hoenheim couldn't stay."

Hitsugaya snorted. "I remember that well. Yamamoto-soutaichou threw a fit. He would have ordered the entire Special Forces out to look for you, if it wasn't currently leaderless. He actually threw the captain's haori at me. Told me it was for the greater good and that I might as well keep doing what I had been doing."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

Hitsugaya actually smirked. "Your father was second only to Kyouraku-taichou, the only difference being levels of drunkeness and the fact that while Kyouraku has Ise-fukutaichou your father was stuck with foul-mouthed brat."

For some reason Ichigo had problems imagining Hitsugaya as a foul-mouthed little kid. Then something clicked. "Wait a moment… my father was a captain? He didn't tell me that… THE BASTARD!" And he charged out of Urahara Shoten, intent on spilling ex-shinigami-captain blood.

Meanwhile Ed was pointing a shaking finger at his father. "You… you were a shinigami? No… you were a captain?"

Hoenheim folded his arms, and gave the closest thing to a smirk Ed had ever seen on his face. "How else would I be here? You saw me die yourself… it was over seventy years ago wasn't it?"

Ed nodded, not quite sure what to say.

"By the way, if left to your own devices shouldn't you still be alive? Or at least not be dead long enough to be a captain."

Urahara motioned for the others to leave, leaving Ed and Hoenheim alone.

Ed looked at the floor. "What we did affected nothing. The Nazis still gained power and still went to war with the rest of the world."

Hoenheim nodded understandingly.

"Those in charge somehow knew what had happened that night. And besides that, Al and I refused to enlist. They had us deported to Japan. But then the Americans nuked Hiroshima, where I was doing forced labor. The city was annihilated in an instant."

"And how is Alphonse?"

There was a painful silence. "I… I haven't seen him since we were deported."

Again, painful silence.

Suddenly Ed lunged himself at Hoenheim and started sobbing. "And I don't know whether he died when the bomb hit, or if he's still alive out there, or if he's lost in Rukongai somewhere, or if he's already died in Rukongai and I'll never see him again!"

Given no other choice, Hoenheim embraced his son, and comforted him to the best of his abilities.

In another room, the others were having tea. Hearing the quiet sobbing, Hawkeye set her cup down. "That boy hasn't had an easy life."

Hitsugaya took a sip form his own cup. "You keep saying that, but you never elaborate. Either explain, or stop saying that."

Hawkeye looked into the distance. "I'll just say that he joined the military at twelve and leave it at that."

Hoenheim suddenly came out of the other room and shut the door quietly behind him. "He's resting now, God knows he needs it. He's been under way too much stress lately."

Hitsugaya took a sip from his tea. "We've all been under too much stress lately. I'm sure Urahara here has filled you in on the details."

Hoenheim sat down and poured himself a cup. "Not really; he just mentioned a power-hungry madman who is having fun playing with one of Urahara's toys."

"That's not the half of it. Aizen Sousuke defected along with Ichimaru Gin and Tousen Kaname and stole the Hougyoku."

Hoenheim spewed tea. Then he looked at Urahara. "Please tell me… Please tell me the Hougyoku is not in the hands of someone who wants all of Sereitei dead."

"Heheh… heh… heh."

Hoenheim stared at his cup. "Now I'm not so sure about leaving Sereitei. I wish I could help."

"Of course you can help! Do some unofficial Earth-side duty!"

Suddenly the door opened and Edward Elric walked in. Hoenheim glared at him. "You weren't really sleeping, were you?"

Edward yawned. "Actually I was. But I just got a message from Sereitei. Hawkeye, we're being ordered back, effective immediately."


	13. Sayonara

**Title: Mustang, Why Is There A Gaping Hole In My Wall?**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: It's not about what you know, it's about who you know. Because then you know both what and who. I have three different summaries for DiamondDust Rebellion for anybody who wants them.**

**First I was going nuts, then I remembered this thing known as the Hitsugaya community on Livejournal. Headdesk. Anyway, I'll PM all three summaries to anybody who wants them.**

* * *

Ed restrained a gape at reentering Fifth Division for the first time since he had gotten back late the previous night (or early that morning, whichever you preferred). It looked like a hurricane had come through there.

Each desk was piled high with undone paperwork in messy stacks. There were one or two shinigami scurrying around looking busy, a mop of messy black hair bent low over some papers at one over-piled desk, and a giant blackened hole in one wall. Ed walked up to the one occupied desk. "Mustang. What the hell happened here?"

Mustang looked up, and Ed could see slight bags under his eyes. "Slight emergency sir."

Ed snorted. "Surprisingly enough, I had gathered that much. Where's Minuko?"

"Dead."

Ed raised an eyebrow. "My third seat is dead? What exactly happened here?"

"Another shinigami is causing problems, an attack by an unknown enemy, and resulting utter chaos."

Ed smirked. "And, of course, your natural skills as a leader told you that you should be in charge."

Mustang threw back his own smirk. "Well, I was the one that fended him off in the end."

"So he's dead then?"

Mustang frowned. "No. That's what a good percentage of the division is doing- looking for him."

Ed pointed at the wall. "One more thing. Why the hell is there hole in my wall?"

"That would be me fending off the attacker."

Ed glared at the offending hole. "Fireballs are old-school. Also…" Ed suddenly put both palms on Mustang's desk, glaring at him. "HOW THE HELL DID ONE MAN GET ALL THE WAY TO FIFTH DIVISION AND BACK WITHOUT EVEN BEING WOUNDED!"

Mustang winced at Ed's shouting. He had definitely practiced while in the real world. "We honestly don't know. One minute he was here, the next he wasn't."

"What did he look like?"

"Kind of dark skin, grey hair, sunglasses, some sort of scar on his face…"

Ed hit Mustang, hard. "YOU IDIOT!"

Mustang grabbed his head with his hands. "What did I do?" he whined.

Behind Ed Hawkeye, who had stayed quiet the whole time, spoke. "Have you forgotten about Scar so fast?"

Mustang started banging his head on the desk. "I am an idiot!"

Ed smirked. "Yes you are." Then he became serious again. "Mustang, as of now until this is over and we can hold a proper fight, you are officially my third seat. I want a list of all shinigami in Division Five and their current status, such as searching, Fourth Division, dead, etc. Are any other divisions working on this?"

"Not as of yet, but if there are too many casualties Yamamoto-soutaichou might assign one to help us."

"Another thing, are there any more casualties among the seated shinigami?"

"There are a few, but they are mostly of lower seats. Fifth is dead, and seventh is in Fourth Division."

"Send a hell butterfly to the remaining upper seats, telling them to come to my office at once."

"Hai." Mustang scurried off.

"Hawkeye, I want you to look at the organization of the search and put together as many files on it as possible, and if possible streamline it. If there are enough men to spare, get someone to fix the hole in the wall."

"Hai."

Rubbing his temples, Ed stomped into his thankfully mostly private office, Hawkeye following him. Hawkeye looked through some files on her desk for a few minutes, then grabbed several and left. Sighing, Ed sat down at his desk and quickly scanned the various papers littering it. Sighing again, he set to organizing.

His desk had obtained a semblance of organization by the time Mustang came running in, without knocking. "Captain! Tenth seat has found Scar, and he's having problems!"

Ed stood up. "Where is he?"

"52nd District of East Rukongai!"

Ed ran past Mustang and scanned the room. "Hawkeye! You're in charge until I get back! I'm counting on you!"

"Yes sir!"

Ed shunpoed out of the office and as fast as he could towards East Rukongai. Each minute wasted was another percent removed from his tenth seat's life expectancy. He could just see the shocked faces of the Rukongaians as he zoomed by.

It took a precious fifteen minutes to reach Tanaka. And try as he might, he could not get there before Scar could stab him. Scar pushed him off his katana.

"Scar."

Scar looked up towards Ed. "Edward Elric. We meet again."

Ed pulled out his zanpukto, glaring at Scar. "You have no motivation, so why do you attack my men?"

"No motivation? You are fooling yourself. The shinigami have done nothing for those of Rukongai. They have left us to sit in squalor while they feast in their white halls."

Ed's glare intensified. "You think I haven't tried to do something? I have done all I can under the circumstances. But at the moment, Sereitei is rather busy with our own problems."

"Problems you no doubt created, shinigami."

"Is violence your answer to everything?"

"It's the only way to make people see sense."

"Look, I'm done talking to you. Separate and join together, Fumito."

Ed felt cold metal snaking over his arm. Looking down, he saw that now that he had a human arm, the metal instead formed intricate designs over his arm. Looking closer, Ed noticed that they actually resembled the lines of a human transmutation circle. Shoving that fact to the back of his mind, he readied his stance, eager to see what threat Scar posed.

Scar attacked him with his katana, doing nothing special it seemed. Ed easily dodged and parried his attacks, wondering what he was hiding. Ed eventually made it over to Tanaka, who was still alive. "Tanaka," he hissed. "What is he hiding that is so powerful?"

"Captain… run…"

"What about him is so dangerous?" Ed asked, taking his eyes away from Scar for a second. Scar was thirty feet away, what could he do?

"RUN!"

Tanaka leapt at Ed, knocking him over. But he wasn't fast enough; Ed was hit by the red lightening anyway. Ed gently pushed Tanaka off of him and tried to stand. The lightening had left him with a decidedly funny feeling in his stomach.

It was to his horror that he discovered that his left leg wasn't working properly. Not only that, his zanpukto had reverted to her original form and lay several inches from his outstretched hand. He grabbed it and brought it up, virtually dragging his metal leg behind him.

Scar glared at him. "Just for you; now die!" He lunged with his katana, a lunge that Ed easily parried. But then in his left hand he gathered another ball of red lightening. With his dead leg Ed couldn't dodge in time. It hit him full on, sending him flying through an entire house and landing in the street on the other side. Fumito went flying.

Scar advanced through the wreckage of the house. Gasping, Ed tried to get up but realized with horror that his leg had been completely blown apart by that blast. Suddenly, he sensed Scar's presence in front of him. He looked up slowly.

Scar was poised for the kill, katana ready. He seemed to be waiting for something. "Well Elric? Are you ready to die… again?"

Defiance filled Ed's eyes. "You know that house you just pushed me through? That one? I used to live in that house. The couple that lived there took me in after I died. And their daughter? I fell in love with her. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. But one day I came back from the market and the house was deserted. No one was there. No one ever came back. That's when I decided to become a shinigami. And that's why I became a captain. So I could try and fix things. Maybe that's what you should do too."

Scar had lost the sunglasses a while ago, and now his eyes betrayed indecision. "Die, shinigami scum."

Ed collapsed in the street, blood spreading around him as Scar walked away.

* * *

**Poor Ed just doesn't get a break, does he? First Shawlong Qufang, now Scar. And no one can complain about Scar because no one gave me their opinion. Reviews please!**


	14. Konnichiwa

**Title: Help My Sister**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: This chapter turned out pretty dark. I mean, the last chapter was kinda dark with Scar slaughtering some of Ed's men off screen and then beating Ed to a pulp, but this one is definitely darker.**

* * *

"Who is he?"

"He's a shinigami, and an important one at that. Shh Kotori."

The little girl looked at the man. "But Daddy Genji, how do you know that? What if he's a bad man?" An old woman with a bowl of warm water and some towels walked into the room. Kotori ran to her. "Granny, Daddy Genji brought in a bad man!"

The old woman smiled and knelt next to Genji. "Quiet child. If we are lucky then this man will be able to help your sister."

Kotori made a face. "Her? Why would he want to help her?"

"Because we saved his life, child. Now be a good girl and go play with your dolls."

"Yes Granny."

* * *

Ed groaned, and half opened his eyes. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. He felt a cool cloth being put on his forehead. He reached a hand up, but a smaller hand pushed it down again. "Granny said that if you wake up I'm to tell you not to move."

Ed opened his eyes the rest of the way to see a girl with short brown hair in pigtails and brilliant blue eyes looking down at him. "Where… Where am I?"

"You're at my house!" the girl exclaimed. "My daddy found you in the street and dragged you in. He's convinced you can help my sister."

The girl continued to babble while Ed managed to inch up against the wall behind him and look over himself. His leg was shot to hell, there was a thick bandage around his middle, and he suspected a few ribs were broken but other then that he was fine thankfully. Focusing on his reiatsu, he performed a healing kidou on himself. The girl gasped as the room was bathed in green light.

"Pretty! Can you teach me how to do that?"

Ed gasped and fell to the floor again as he ran out of energy. He had only managed to heal the ribs before he was out of energy. The door opened and a man walked in. "I thought I heard you talking Kotori. Welcome back to the land of the dead shinigami."

"Isn't that a bit backwards?" Ed muttered, rubbing his head. "How did I get here?"

"Kotori, go help your granny with dinner."

"Okay!" Kotori bounded out.

The man sat next to Ed's futon. "My name is Wakaba Genji. That was my adopted daughter Kotori. I found you two days ago in the street and brought you here."

"Did you find another man? There was another shinigami with me."

"Unfortunately he was dead before I found you. I buried him on a hill not far from here."

"Oh," was all that Ed uttered. "Two days, huh? Hawkeye must be about to lose it with worry."

"Hawkeye?"

"Yeah, my fukutaichou. I'm Edward Elric, taichou of Fifth Division."

Genji looked hopeful. "Since you're so important, do you think you could help my other daughter?"

"What's wrong with her?"

"Well, she wants to become a shinigami, but whenever she goes to sign up they turn her away, claiming classes are full."

"Maybe they are."

"She has seen the children of nobles sign up after she was turned away, and this has happened several years in a row. She desperately wants to become a shinigami, but she is starting to lose hope."

Ed pushed himself up again. "I might be able to help her, if she has reiatsu. Where is she?"

Genji sighed. "Alas, she's not here right now. She travels a lot."

An old woman poked her head through the door. "Genji, dinner's… Oh! You're awake then. I'm Hoshimi. If you're feeling up to it, dinner's ready and we'd be happy to share our stew with you."

"I'd love to." Ed was about to get up when he remembered he couldn't. "If someone could…"

Genji repositioned himself and slung Ed's arm over his shoulder. He helped Ed up and together they walked into the next room, which was some sort of kitchen slash dining room. Genji helped Ed over to a chair and he sat down, helping himself to some of the soup from the large pot in the middle of the table. Kotori was already slurping up hers. Hoshimi and Genji also sat down and served themselves. Kotori set her spoon down and fixed Ed with her big blue eyes. "What's it like to be a shinigami?"

Ed smiled at her. "It's a lot of hard work."

"But it must feel good, being able to defend yourself against evil hollows, and defend others."

"Yes, but to be able to defend yourself takes lots of practice and effort. That's what you do all six years at the Shinigami Academy. You practice a lot."

"What about that green light you made? Was that magic?"

Ed chuckled. "Kind of… that was kidou. That's another thing you learn at the Academy. You can do all kinds of neat things with it." Ed caught sight of Genji and Hoshimi looking at each other. "But I don't think you should become a shinigami. You're not suited for it. Besides, you can just brag about your sister when she becomes a shinigami."

For the rest of dinner there was awkward small talk. After that Genji helped Ed back to his futon and Ed, still worn out from the kidou he had performed earlier, was out like a light.

The next morning Ed was brought food in bed because Genji said he wanted to talk to him privately. "So, how do you plan on getting back to Sereitei without a leg?"

Ed shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. I would ask if there's a cart or something around that I could hire someone to take me back in, but I'm sure they'd want payment up front and I have no money on me."

Genji nodded. "That they would. At any rate, you should stay here until my daughter gets back. And I've already spread the word that if anyone sees a shinigami they should send them here."

Ed slowly set his bowl of oatmeal down. "That… was a really bad idea."

"Why?"

"The man who attacked me is still out there, and when he finds out I'm still alive he'll be pissed."

"Made an enemy?"

"More like taking a grudge to the grave. I've lost track of how many times he's tried to kill me in my past life."

* * *

Atsushi raised a hand to knock on the rough wooden door. He had been wandering Rukongai looking for Scar, and had been approached by a pretty young woman. She had told him that there was a shinigami living at this house unable to return to Sereitei. So here he was, following up on info given by a complete stranger (though she was pretty). He knocked.

The door was opened by a middle-aged man with black hair. "Wakaba Genji, what can I do for you?"

"I've heard that there's a shinigami staying here."

"Oh, him? Come in, please come in."

Ed had been at the Wakaba's for a week now. Genji kept assuring him that his daughter would arrive back soon. No shinigami had shown up at the house, and there was no doubt that Yamamoto had assigned at least one more division to the Scar hunt by now.

Playing Go Fish with Kotori, Ed distantly heard someone knock on the door of the house. "Got any sevens?"

"Go fish!" Kotori giggled.

Ed picked up a card from the pile as the door to the small room opened. He looked up. In filed Genji and… a shinigami from Fifth Division. "Atsushi. You have no idea how glad I am to see you."

Atsushi's eyes showed relief. "I am sure that my joy upon seeing you alive is more. We were all sure you were dead after Yamamoto assigned Sixth and Seventh divisions to search for Scar as well. Hawkeye-fukutaichou hasn't been seen outside your office in days."

Ed set his cards down. "Do you have a carriage or something outside then? I really need to get back."

Atsushi was confused. "Can't you walk?"

"Unfortunately, no."

Atsushi then noticed the twisted metal below his left knee. "Well then I guess you're in luck. My carriage is right outside. Come, I'll help you there."

Kotori's large blue eyes looked at Ed. "Are you leaving?"

Ed smiled sadly at her. "Unfortunately I am Kotori. But don't worry, I might be able to find time to come back."

"Promise?"

Ed weighed his options. "Promise."

Atsushi helped Ed up, and together they walked outside. Genji, Hoshimi, and Kotori followed. Ed put his right hand on the side of the carriage to pull himself up, when he felt something move. He paused, looking closer at the carriage. Then he uttered one single word.

"Shit."

The carriage exploded in a huge burst of flame, throwing everybody back and giving them all considerable burns. Ed barely noticed himself being thrown against a tree and landing in a pile of bricks, paying more attention to flames licking at the remains of his arm with detached shock. Then it settled in, the fact that a bomb had gone off while he was virtually holding it. Dazed, he looked up.

Hoshimi had run into the house at Ed's first hint of danger and was now poking her head out the door. Atsushi was slowly standing up, a long burn coming down the right side of his face as well as some of his hair singed away. Kotori was stirring under a bush with many broken branches, and Genji was clutching at his left arm, all of the fabric from his sleeve burned away.

And a safe distance behind the flaming wreckage stood the perpetrator, Scar. Double shit.

Scar skirted the wreckage and approached Ed. "You don't stay dead, do you Elric?"

Atsushi, noticing that his captain was in danger, pulled out his zanpukto and charged at Scar. Ed looked fearfully at him, knowing the inevitable outcome. "No! Stop Atsushi!"

Atsushi did not pay heed to the warning, and Ed was forced to watch as Scar beheaded the shinigami with his katana. He turned back to Ed. "Now, this time I will make sure that I don't miss."

Kotori was horrified by all the blood. Screaming, she got up and ran around the house with the intent of running down the street. But she didn't get that far before she bumped into something… or someone. She looked up and hugged the girl. "Nee-san! There's a bad man, he attacked Daddy Genji and some shinigami! Nee-san, save us! Nee-san!"

The older girl removed herself from Kotori and looked around the corner at the scene. Kneeling, she picked up a hammer. She chucked it at the tan-coated man. It hit its target.

* * *

**Scar… you're being counterproductive to Ed's limbs. There's my little joke so you all aren't too depressed.**


	15. Fix The Wall

**Title: Hadou Number 63: Twin Lotus Blue Fire, Crash Down**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: God I hate this chapter… Winry seems so generic and I had to randomly insert another character just to keep it going. This does not deserve to be Ch. 15… holy shit we're that far already? I had to get something out though, I'm having fanfiction withdrawals. Creativity is at an all-time low. The shininess of Word 2007 it hinders my creativity. I fixed my brain though… mostly.**

**I can't send out the DDR summaries anymore because of the new anti-spam stuff. Sorry people. Also, I just realized that I never told you what was written on the note in the clay hand mentioned in the A/N of Ch. 11. Here it comes…**

**You all just lost The Game. I am the Mistress of Game Losing.**

**And yes it has been suggested that this hints of EdRiza, but I assure you that is not my intentions. Hawkeye just cares for her captain, that is all.**

**Just so you know who will show up, I WILL be including Hughes and Al and have already more or less planned out their dramatic entrance. What, did you think Roy forgot about his friend? And Al's… oh Al's will be nice and dramatic and heart wrenching and just thinking about makes me feel like an evil villain.**

**YES AL'S ENTRANCE WILL BE DRAMATIC AND YOU'LL ALL HATE ME OKAY BYE NOW!!!**

* * *

Ed waited for the inevitable, staring Scar down. Then something completely unexpected happened. A hammer came flying out of nowhere and hit Scar.

Scar turned around, staring at the blond girl glaring at him. "You are not a shinigami. But if you get in my way, I will kill you too."

The girl- young woman really- glared at him. "I have reason enough to kill you, Scar. Have you forgotten me so soon?"

"Rockbell? No I haven't. But right now I have some unfinished business."

"Winry…?" Ed croaked.

Scar spun around and stabbed Ed again. "Stay dead already!"

Ed managed a small smirk. "You fell for it.

"Hadou number 63: Twin Lotus Blue Fire, Crash Down."

Two blue flames shot themselves at Scar. On impact, a blue ball of light expanded, swallowing up both Scar and Ed then exploding.

"ED!"

* * *

Hawkeye sighed, barely refraining from letting loose all her anger and stress on the small black-haired girl in front of her. "Hinamori-san, please return to Fourth Division."

Hinamori Momo shook her head. "No! I want my division back!"

Granted, the small black-haired girl was the source of much of the stress. But that didn't mean that she deserved to be the brunt of it. "I am in command now. So please go back to Fourth Division."

"Aizen-taichou isn't here! That means I'm in command!"

Okay, maybe she did deserve it.

Hawkeye cracked. "HINAMORI-SAN, PLEASE LEAVE FIFTH DIVISION BEFORE I CAN NO LONGER REFRAIN FROM RIPPING YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR SHOULDERS!"

Hinamori quailed for a few seconds, before her features filled with fury. "FINE THEN! WE FIGHT!"

Hawkeye grabbed the frail girl by the shoulders and physically threw her out of her office. Then she sat back down and sighed again, knowing that she wouldn't be back again today.

Yes, that was right. She, Riza Hawkeye, was in command now. Edward Elric was MIA, leaving her in command of Fifth Division.

Officially missing in action. Most likely dead.

"Colonel!"

Hawkeye jumped up. That voice was familiar. It had been quite a while since she had heard it, but it was still familiar. She threw open the door to her office, which she had shut after throwing Hinamori out. "Havoc!"

Jean Havoc looked up from the floor, upon which he had ended up after falling over a chair. "Hawkeye! You here too?"

Hawkeye smiled. "Hello Havoc. Long time no see."

Havoc got up from the floor and brushed himself off. "No kidding. Anybody else show up in the lovely Division Number 5?"

The atmosphere in the room became noticeably stiffer. "Yes," Mustang answered, trying not to show any emotion. "Fullmetal was…" He cut short, glancing at Hawkeye. "Is the taichou."

Havoc frowned. "Spit it out, what's with the was?"

"He's dead." Hawkeye stated, her voice going up a notch. "He left a few weeks ago alone to fight Scar, and he hasn't been seen since."

Havoc picked the chair up from the floor and sat down in it. "Oh. Okay. Well then. Do I need to do anything specific now that I'm in this division?"

Mustang and Hawkeye looked at each other. "Fix the wall," they stated together.

* * *

"ED!"

His whole body hurt… what had happened?... He was lying on something hard… someone grabbed his hand and shook it… god it hurt…

"ED, CAN YOU HEAR ME? ED!"

The voice was fading… thank god… it hurt so much…

Winry hopped off the cart carrying the boy wrapped in blankets. "Thank you sir, for going so fast!"

The cart driver winked at her. "No problem. Just make sure to tell him all about me when he wakes up."

Winry ignored him, instead choosing to charge headlong at Sereitei. As expected, the wall came down and so did Jidanbou. "Please Jidanbou, he's one of yours and needs help!"

The giant scratched his head. "One of ours? Oh, yes, Elric-taichou! So he's not dead? Hurry, hurry in!" Jidanbou lifted the gate.

Winry ran in and called to the first person she saw, a short boy with white hair. "Excuse me!"

The boy looked up, and Winry could see his teal eyes. "You. How did you get in?"

"I have a hurt shinigami, he needs treatment!"

Hitsugaya strode over, then did a double take. "Elric? He's supposed to be dead! No matter, it's a good thing he isn't. Thank you for bringing him here, I'll take it from here." Hitsugaya grabbed Ed and shunpoed off.

Winry fell to her knees. "But… but…"


	16. Winry Reflects

**Title: He's Dead To The World**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: Life sucks. Like, really sucks. Life's a bitch and then you die. Seriously. I **_**finally**_** get a nice shiny new computer, then the motherboard dies. Said computer sits in my dad's office waiting for a box that never came because my dad told the tech dude to slow down because he couldn't understand him, so the tech guy got angry and cancelled the trouble ticket. Box finally comes after another call, and the computer is currently in Memphis, accidentally with a friend's music cd in the drive. And considering my luck, it will arrive Sunday night, right when spring break ends. And my shoulder is sore from sleeping on packed snow and ferry floors. Now I'm just complaining.**

**Only fifteen more reviews to 100! Lets do this! LEEEROOOY JENKINS!**

**Chapter Brought To You By: Crappy Computers, Inc.**

* * *

A black hell butterfly fluttered into Fifth Division and alighted on Hawkeye's fingers. Hawkeye paused in what she was doing, her mouthy slowly forming into a small 'o'. The butterfly finished delivering its message and left her fingers, heading for the door.

In less then ten seconds both Hawkeye and the butterfly were gone. And the butterfly lost the race to the door.

"I think something just happened," Havoc mused from the hole in the wall.

* * *

Hawkeye shunpoed as fast as she could to Fourth Division, speeding by each and every shinigami in her path. As soon as she got to Fourth Division she raced in the direction of Unohana's office, only stopping when she nearly ran into the taichou. "Unohana-taichou, is it true?"

Unohana smiled softly. "It is. Come with me." Hawkeye started following Unohana down the hall. "Elric-taichou is alive, though he's suffered some near-fatal wounds. His new arm has been ripped off, and his mechanical leg appears to have been blown up. He was stabbed in the gut twice, and as far as we can tell was severely wounded by his own kidou." They reached the door to room fifteen and Unohana stopped, turning to Hawkeye. "But be quiet. He is still unconscious, and will be for another week at least."

"Another week?" Hawkeye exclaimed, her shock beating her façade into the depths.

Unohana gave Hawkeye a reproachful look. "Be patient Hawkeye-san. We all thought he was dead. Another week won't hurt."

Taking a few deep breaths to calm back down, Hawkeye walked forward and grasped the door handle. Turning it, she entered the room and shut the door softly behind her. There was silence, save for the slight whirring of the life saving devices next to the single bed in the corner. A bed that contained one Edward Elric.

An oxygen mask covered his mouth and nose, while the rest of his face was a mess of burns and bandages, his hair in a loose golden halo around it. The blankets fell crookedly over his crippled form, two distinct lumps missing. Moving forward, Hawkeye noticed something and lifted a small bit of the blankets up. The twisted metal of the broken automail was still attached to his leg, as Unohana apparently hadn't been able to get it off. Reaching down, Hawkeye found the appropriate switch and flipped it, pulling. The automail slid off nicely, and she put it on a small end table. Standing there for another few minutes, she left.

Heading for Unohana's office to ask something, she ran into Isane. Ah, it wouldn't hurt to ask. "Isane, do you know who brought Elric-taichou in?"

Isane jumped. "Oh! I believe it was Hitsugaya-taichou."

Hawkeye smiled. "Thanks." She then left the Fourth Division compound, aiming for Tenth. She was stopped near the outer wall though by none other than…

"Miss Riza!"

Winry Rockbell ran up to her. "Winry?" Hawkeye exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

Winry got close enough that Hawkeye could see the tears welling in her eyes. "How's Ed? Where is he? Will he be okay?"

Hawkeye threw up her hands. "Woah, slow down!" Then she smiled at the younger woman. "Don't worry, he'll be all right. You brought him in, didn't you?"

Winry nodded. "Yeah, and then this kid with white hair took him." She then got a quizzical look on her face. "Hey, are they related?"

Hawkeye frowned. "A word to the wise: don't ever bring that up again, especially if you're in the company of one of them. Also, I need to know: Is Scar dead?"

Winry looked down. "Yes… Ed blew him to bits. Just like Ed, to go overboard like that."

Hawkeye smiled. "Come, I'll take you to him."

* * *

Hawkeye went back into Fifth Division smiling. "Something good happened."

"What, did Mustang finally get you pregnant?" Havoc asked from the hole in the wall. He then lost a few hairs thanks to one of Hawkeye's throwing zanpuktos.

"What then?" Mustang asked from his pile of paperwork.

"Edward's alive. He was brought in about an hour ago."

Mustang shoved the pile of paperwork away from himself. "Finally, an excuse for a break."

"Hah, so when do I get to go shock the boss?"

Hawkeye shook her head. 'Not for a while Havoc. He's been pretty beat up in at least two fights, and Unohana-taichou doesn't expect him to wake up for another week at least."

Havoc's face fell. "Oh."

Mustang propped his head up. "Well if he's dead to the world…" he broke off at Hawkeye's angry glare, looked away, and tried again. "Well if he's completely knocked out, how did he get here?"

Hawkeye smiled. "An old friend. After the first attack he stayed at the home of the then-absent Winry Rockbell. In the middle of the second attack she showed up just in time to distract Scar, then Ed performed a high-level kidou and blew him up."

Havoc's jaw dropped. "Ed… blew up Scar? Since when does Ed blow people up?"

"He's not a child anymore Havoc. He doesn't like it but it's part of his job description, so if he must blow something up then he will."

Mustang had grown quiet at the mention of Winry Rockbell. Silently he pulled a stack of paperwork towards himself and started working on it.

* * *

Winry Rockbell stood at the side of her childhood friend's sickbed. She hadn't held a conversation with him for… wow. It must be nearly eighty years by now. Physically, he didn't look like he'd grown an inch (she would make him regret that later), but mentally he had grown decades, she could tell. Don't ask her how, it was one of those things she just knew about him.

Like how she could sense that he had no clue where Al was, and hadn't for a very long time.

She smiled softly. It was almost like that one time, so long ago, when a ten year old boy had lain on a bed, wracked with fever, his arm stump bandaged tightly. Riza had told her that he had recently regained his arm thanks to the help of a human from Earth, but only because he had broken his automail beyond repair without the help of an expert. She smiled at that.

Then she frowned. He _had_ broken her automail… not only had the entire port been ripped off, but he had managed to get his leg blown up as well. She would _definitely_ make him regret _that_ later too.

And then she would make him a new set, as always.

She left the room and called out to the first shinigami she saw, a small black-haired girl with her hair held up by a light blue piece of cloth. There were a few pink forget-me-nots in her hand, and she was singing softly to herself. "Excuse me, but could you show me the way to Fifth Division?"

The girl looked up, a dreamy look in her doe eyes. "Sorry, but Aizen-taichou isn't here right now."

Winry shook her head, somewhat confused. "I don't know anybody named Aizen. I'm looking for Riza Hawkeye."

The girl's demeanor changed instantly. Her eyes filled with fire and the flowers dropped to the floor. "You dare to speak that woman's name to me? You dare? You shall die!"

Whether or not the girl was entirely sane would be a good thing to debate, but right now Winry was kind of _running for her life_. She sprinted down the hallway, took an abrupt right turn, took a few more turns, and got hopelessly lost, a raving madwoman hot on her heels.

"Hinamori-san!"

Both girls stopped and turned to who Winry recognized as Unohana-taichou. "What do you want? I'm kind of busy right now!" Hinamori snapped back.

Unohana frowned slightly. "Hinamori, please sheath your zanpukto and go back to your room. You know that you shouldn't attack people randomly."

Hinamori hung her head. "Yes Unohana-taichou." She walked back down the hall past Unohana.

Unohana then smiled at Winry. "Are you lost?"

Winry nodded. "Yes. Could you show me the way to Fifth Division please?"

Unohana nodded. "I was just about to send Iemuro over with some paperwork, but I can take it instead."

"Oh, don't go out of your way just for me!"

Unohana smiled motherly. "Oh, it's no problem. I should probably go myself anyway to make sure that no one gets the wrong idea about Elric-taichou."

"He will be all right, right?"

Unohana laughed. "Of course he will. Don't worry, Winry-san." Their conversation had carried them to Unohana's office, where she picked up two folders. "Now come on, I'll show you the way to Fifth Division." They walked in silence for a few minutes. "Just curious, how do you know Elric-taichou?"

Winry looked at the ground. "We've known each other our entire lives. We were neighbors back when we were alive. And…"

Unohana smiled softly. "You made his prosthetics, didn't you?"

Winry looked up, startled. "Mmm… yes. And… could I make it again?"

Unohana tilted her head, still smiling. "Of course. You can have everything you need at your disposal. When you're ready, I can show you the way to Twelfth Division, our research division. Maybe they have some stuff you haven't heard of before that you can use."

"That would be wonderful… thank you, Unohana-taichou."

"It's nothing. We wouldn't want our little taichou having second-rate gear."

Winry laughed for the first time since arriving in Sereitei. "Just don't let him hear that."


	17. The Author Loves This Chapter

**Title: The Mentally Unstable And The Gear Geek**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: Aren't you people lucky! Two chapters in one week! That's what spring break'll do to you. This is an extremely dramatic, violence filled chapter, one of my best I believe. Have fun!**

**Wish: Reviews! Come on, almost to 100! If you people are smart, then the last four paragraphs should get you to review, but don't kill the author please!**

**I swear, I'm trying really hard not to laugh like an evil villian right now. It's not really working though.**

* * *

Winry slept fitfully in the bed lent to her in Fifth Division. What had transpired earlier still bothered her.

_She looked around and took in those in the room that she knew. "Hello again Miss Riza. Hello Mr. Havoc… Hello, Co… Colonel Mustang."_

_The black-haired man looked down, then left the room silently._

She had thought they had settled it, but it still hurt and she hadn't even noticed. They would have to eventually settle it for good.

* * *

Not too far away, a dark shadow crept along the hallways in Fourth Division. Her goal was clear, her tactics simple. In her hands a single syringe rested, filled with a pale yellow liquid. Slowly she advanced on Room 15.

* * *

Winry sat bolt upright in bed. She hadn't had that particular nightmare for a long time. She had thought that she had left it in the dust. She knew it wasn't real, never could be, that the real events were very different, but it still left her panting. Sighing, and knowing that she wouldn't fall asleep again for a while, she threw on a light blue kimono that Miss Riza had lent her and wandered outside.

She wandered the roads of Sereitei, and unconsciously found herself in front of Fourth Division. Taking a deep breath, she walked inside.

* * *

The dark shadow entered Room 15. She approached the bed in the corner, and gently lifted the oxygen mask from Edward Elric's face. Taking the syringe, she plunged it into his remaining arm and emptied it of the pale yellow liquid. She allowed her face only a grim smile as she removed the syringe and threw it to the floor. It shattered with a _crack!_

She glanced at the machine the oxygen mask was attached to. How she hated that thing. Why not. She kicked it, then grabbed it, tipping it over. It fell to the floor with a resounding _crash!_

* * *

Winry was wandering the halls towards Ed's room when she heard the crash of the machine. Breaking into a run, she turned a corner and threw open door 15. The scene inside horrified her.

The oxygen machine lay on its side on the floor, next to a shattered syringe. The black haired girl from earlier had her zanpukto raised above her head ready to strike the sleeping Ed. Winry had no time to think.

"NO!"

She launched herself at Hinamori, wrapping her legs around the petite girl's waist and grabbing her lower arms, holding on for dear life… for Ed's life. She felt the tears drip from her nearly closed eyes. "Stop and think of what you're doing!"

Hinamori looked over her shoulder, fury etched in her face. "He is in Aizen-taichou's way!"

Winry shook her head. "Stop and think! Aizen leaving may have hurt you, but your actions hurt other people too! If you killed Ed, how do you think everybody else would feel? How do you think I would feel?"

A look of shock replaced the anger. "I… I didn't think."

"That's right you didn't!"

Hinamori tried to lower her zanpukto. "Um… do you mind letting go now? I promise I won't try to stab him."

Winry shook her head again, this time more urgently. "How can I trust you? You've attacked me, you've attacked Ed!"

Hinamori twisted violently, throwing Winry off of her and into the bed. She rolled over the top, taking sheets with her to the other side… and a body. Hinamori advanced menacingly. "Of course I've attacked him! He is in the way, blocking Aizen-taichou's return! Aizen-taichou would be here right now if that little pipsqueak upstart weren't in the way!"

Ed frowned and muttered something unintelligible in his sleep. Winry slung him over her shoulder, trying not to jar his wounds too much, and backed up slowly from the madwoman with the sword. Hinamori advanced, chopping through the metal frame bed like so many toothpicks. Winry bumped into the wall, and could only wait as Hinamori came closer. Waiting until the last second, she ducked under the swing and dodged to the side. Running around Hinamori, Winry grabbed a metal bar from the remains of the bed and held it up in challenge. Realizing that she didn't pose much of a threat with Ed slung over her back, she deposited him gently in a corner and turned back to Hinamori. "Please let this go," she pleaded.

"No! This is for Aizen-taichou!" Hinamori ran up, zanpukto held high. Winry raised the metal bar, belatedly remembering how the girl had cut through it earlier. _Oh shit…_

_I believe that is where I come in._

_Huh?_

A bright light came from the metal bars, bright enough that both Winry and Hinamori had to shut their eyes tight. When the light faded Winry opened a single eye, peeking out. Then she grinned, opening the other one.

In place of the metal bar, rested a zanpukto of her own. She stood a fighting chance now.

Hinamori recovered from the shock quickly. "So be it! A proper fight then! En garde!"

Their zanpuktos clashed, Winry obviously lacking skill. Within the first few seconds she already had minor wounds on her arms. She was soon panting and struggling to hold up her zanpukto. Then she did the worst thing she could do. She tripped on a rolling bit of bed.

Flat on her back, she looked up as Hinamori pointed her sword at the center of her chest. "Goodbye, little vixen."

Winry swung up her zanpukto, but she was too slow. Thinking of one last thing to do as her blood poured from her, she shoved, and Hinamori's blood splattered her face. "I'm not going alone."

* * *

Unohana rushed as fast as she could to Room 15. She should have anticipated this, after that stunt Hinamori pulled earlier… but she didn't, and now they probably had a problem on their hands. A big one. She threw open the door to Room 15 and took in the view of the wrecked room. Yup, definitely a big problem. "Isane, Hanatarou, take care of Hinamori and Rockbell. Where is Elric-taichou?" Unohana advanced into the room, looking around. She noticed something crunch under her feet. A broken syringe with a few drops of yellow liquid still in it. She moved two fingers to the ground then raised them to her nose, smelling. If she was one to swear she would. "Where is Elric-taichou! Find him, he's probably been poisoned!"

Iemura shouted from a corner near where Hinamori and Winry lay. "He's here!"

Unohana rushed over. "Any change?"

Iemura focused on the diagnostic kidou. "A few more bruises, and… my god. How could Hinamori have gotten her hands on Death Lotus?"

Unohana swiped Edward up. "As I feared. I'm taking him to room 14. Take Isane's spot. Isane, come with me."

* * *

Aizen grinned as his newest arrancar, Arrancar 31, entered his throne room. And for good reason.

The arrancar's black-shoed feet glided nearly silently across the floor, the only noise the swishing of the billowing white pant legs. There were three loose black belts around his waist, forming an 'x' and a stripe above it. Then there was a white jacket, with a ragged edge that extended just below the belts. The jacket flared slightly at the shoulders, long-sleeved. A black ribbon crisscrossed the left hand, probably continuing up the arm, while on the right was a plain black glove. A pike of some sort was held in his hand, the end being a wicked looking serrated blade with a three-headed dragon design on it. The arrancar's long blond hair was loose, and there was an off-center black X on his face, ending in a small burn scar on his left cheek. A small round of bone sat upon his hair on the right side of his head, an evil-looking eye socket in the middle above the jagged edge below resembling teeth. To top it off in a ridiculous fashion, a single, almost Dr. Suess-like horn jutted from above.

"I am ready for my first assignment, Aizen-sama."

Aizen looked into the boy arrancar's emotionless gold eyes, smirking softly to himself. "I have it here, Darpaka."


	18. Have You Seen?

**Title: You Find Friends In Weird Places**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: Lots of time passes between the last chapter and this one, and not everything has been resolved. But they will! Like that strange arrancar that has absolutely no relation to Ed… cough Anyway, I got the inspiration from Edward-Elric-13's pic ****Edward Elric as an Arrancar**** on DeviantART, so if you want to see a picture go there. By the way, Darpaka means Pride. So now I'm confusing the crap out of everybody.**

**Warning: Zaraki Kenpachi appears in this chapter. That should be self-explanatory.**

**Wish: REVIEWS! Special thanks to Finallife for my 100th review and to all my other reviewers! Let's go for 200!**

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God it felt good to get out of the office, or at least Roy Mustang thought so. It certainly wasn't helping that the atmosphere in the office was a thick as pea soup. Edward Elric had had another brief encounter with death even though he didn't know it, and his coma was well into its fourth week. Hawkeye was so stressed out she wouldn't even kiss him, and even though Havoc had probably changed in the time since Mustang had died, he definitely hadn't changed into a morose, gloomy man.

He stuck his hands together through the sleeves of his clothes, feeling the piece of paper in one of them. Kidou could do some seemingly useless things, but they certainly helped sometimes. Seeing a group of women, he approached them, pulling out the paper. "Excuse me, but have any of you ever seen this man?"

He was treated with the slight hatred he was used to, both as a shinigami and State Alchemist. One of the older women glared at him. "Why?"

Now was the sucking up part of Mustang's act. He smiled softly. "He was my best friend who died before me. Have you seen him?"

The corners of the mouths of all the women there lifted. Now this was new. They hadn't ever seen a shinigami act like this. However, all of them still shook their heads or said a variant of no.

They were about to depart when a young woman ran up, panting. "Excuse me, has anyone seen this woman? My dad and I are looking for her."

Mustang turned to the young woman. "Have you seen-"

Both froze. Mustang stared at a young woman with her dirty blond hair in a long ponytail and perfect eyes a shade of teal that Hitsugaya-taichou would be jealous of. She stared back at him. "Uncle… Uncle Roy?"

"Elysia?"

The young woman leapt at him. "Uncle Roy!" She grabbed him in the largest hug her petite figure could grab him in, causing both of them to drop their pictures. She started dragging him off, oblivious to everything else. "Come on, Daddy will be so happy to see you! Maybe as happy as he would be to see Mommy!"

The women smiled as they saw how the two pictures had fallen. The people in them were staring at each other in a quite lovingly way. Rukongai's form of a love story struck again.

Roy laughed as he finally got Elysia to slow down. "Elysia, what's going on? Where are you taking me?" Now looking at her, he realized she only looked about sixteen.

Elysia was still grinning like it was Christmas. "To Daddy! He'll be so happy to see you!"

Roy's heart almost stopped. "Maes… he's here?"

Elysia smiled. "Of course he's here! And now we're looking for Mommy!"

Roy grinned. "Take me to him."

Elysia grinned along with him. "This way! We're almost there!"

The two of them ran down the streets, looking quite ridiculous. Finally they reached a small slightly run down house in a street full of run down houses, trash littering the streets. Elysia ran in. "Daddy! Guess who I found!"

An achingly familiar voice sounded from another room. "Gracia?"

Roy smiled. "No Maes. Guess again."

There was a slight blur, and all of a sudden all of the air was forced out of Roy's lungs. Maes finally let go and put his hands on Roy's shoulders, grinning like a madman. "You had me worried there. I was starting to think maybe you'd offed yourself again before we could find each other."

Roy raised a questioning brow, and Maes tilted his head towards Elysia. Roy smiled. "Did you really think I would be depressed enough to off myself two times in a row?"

"No, but I thought that something else might…" Maes was cut off by a set of racking coughs. Roy grabbed him by the shoulders and held him steady. "I'm fine… don't worry."

Roy looked at him worriedly. "No you're not fine. Have you seen a doctor?"

Maes shook his head. "Aren't any. Besides, we don't have any money."

"Well then, I'll take you to a doctor in Sereitei. I'm a third seat, so I should be able to get you one. If I can't, then Riza should be able to. Even if she can't, we just need to get you within hearing distance of Unohana-taichou and have you cough. She'll be on you like a fly to honey."

Maes smiled. "Fine then. It doesn't sound as if I have much choice now does it?"

* * *

It took longer to get to Sereitei with Maes and Elysia then it would have if Roy were alone, but they still made good time. Once at the gate Jidanbou gave them no trouble, but shortly after they ran into a little problem… okay, not so little.

"MUSTANG! I HEARD ABOUT YOUR SHIKAI! I WANT TO FIGHT YOU!"

"YAY! KEN-CHAN'S GOING TO FIGHT SPARKY!"

Roy's face grew ashen. "Of all the times for him to show up…"

"Who?" Maes asked.

"You really don't want to know."

Suddenly the monstrosity that was Zaraki Kenpachi thumped into the ground in front of the trio. A pink-haired girl poked her head over his shoulder. "Oh! Sparky's got friends with him!"

Little red hearts appeared around Maes Hughes's head. "OH MY GOD SHE'S SOO CUTE!!"

Zaraki nearly dropped his sword in shock. "Hu-ba-duh-wuh?"

"She's just like my little Elysia! When my little Elysia was little, that is! And that hair is so cute! What's your name?"

"Yachiru!" Yachiru announced.

"Yeah, um, who the hell are you?"

"Maes Hughes, best friend of Roy Mustang over there and father of Elysia Hughes, also over there! Please, let me give you my fathering advice!"

"That would be so damn helpful. How do you get them to stop chewing on people's fucking heads?"

"Elysia never did that, but together I'm sure we can find a way!"

Elysia was just plain confused, but Roy had long since keeled over in a dead faint.

* * *

Now that Roy though about it, he should have seen this coming a mile off. Beneath the fight obsession and the insanity and the blood and the swearing… beneath a lot of things actually, Zaraki Kenpachi cared about Kusajishi Yachiru quite a lot thank you very much. Granted, he didn't take pictures, but there were rumors that he had a scrapbook full of hair samples from each of Yachiru's 'playmates' dated and labeled.

Really, it should have been quite obvious that the weirdest friendship ever was bound to happen. And after Elysia had managed to wake him back up, Roy realized that. Silently the two had left Zaraki and Maes to their talk.

"So, what happened after I died?" Roy asked, trying to stir up conversation.

Elysia sighed, looking at the sky. "It knocked us all for six. Mom never quite got over it. She liked you, you know," she added, looking over at Roy. His face remained impassive. "She never told you though because she felt guilty, about you being Dad's best friend and all. And then Uncle Jean died a year later, and that didn't exactly help things. Anyway, after everything that had been happening in the military and such, and then the scandal came out about how you had killed Aunt Riza and then killed yourself, and then when it was discovered that it was a plot created by another general to get you out of the way, everything went downhill from there. Things degenerated into a huge civil war, and they were still flogging the dead horse when I died. Drachma certainly wasn't helping either. I think they were hoping we would fight ourselves to oblivion and then they could come down and take everything in one fell swoop."

"I thought it was something like that. I was drugged, wasn't I?"

"There was never any proof, but that's the general consensus yes."

Roy paused, looking ahead. "Well, what's done is done. This is Fifth Division. Let's go see Aunt Riza and Uncle Jean, eh?"


End file.
